Self esteem is similar to self worth,it is how much a person values himself or herself and this can be from day to day or year to year.But the over all self-esteem tend to develop from infancy and keep going until we are adult.lt can also be the feeling capable while also being loved.A child who is happy with an achievement but doesn't feel loved may actually experience low self-esteem.Likewise a child who feels loved but is hesitant about his or her own abilities can also develop low self-esteem.Healthy self- esteem comes when a good balance is maintained.Patterns of self -esteem starts very early in life.Once children reach adulthood it is harder to make changes to how they see and define themselves.So it is very wise to think about developing and promoting self-esteem during childhood.When a child try, fail, try again,fail again and then finally succeed,thus making them develop ideas about their own capabilities.This is why parental involvement is key to helping children learn accurately.Parents or care givers should enable to promote healthy self -esteem by showing encouragement in times of difficulties in some areas for example success test which can lead to children feeling that they are only as valuable as their test scores.
☀Sign of unhealthy and healthy self-esteem.
Self-esteem fluctuates as children grows, it may be frequently changed and fine tuned because it is affected by child's experiences and new perception.This helps to be aware of the signs of both healthy and unhealthy self- esteem.Children with low self-esteem may not want to try new things or speak negatively about themselves.The difference between children with low self-esteem and children with healthy self-esteem is that children with low self-esteem are temporary set backs, permanent,intolerable and a sense of pessimism prevails.For example a child with low self-esteem will say: "I will never learn how to do this or what is the point, nobody cares about me anyway" which in turn they exhibit a low tolerance for frustration,giving up easily or waiting for somebody else to take over.They tend to be overly critical of and easily dissapointed in themselves.This can lead the child to risk of stress and mental health problems and challenges they encounter while children with healthy self-esteem tend to enjoy interacting with others.They are comfortable in social settings and enjoys group activities as well as independent pursuits.When challenges arise,they can work towards finding solutions and voice discontent without belittling themselves or others.For example a child with healthy self-esteem will rather say: "Am stupid or will rather say i don't understand this".They always know their strengths,weakness and accept them.A sense of optimism prevails.
☀How parents can help develop their child self -esteem.
❄Be careful of what you say to them:Children can be sensitive to their parent's words.Remember to always praise them not only for a job well done but also for their efforts and be truthful. For example "If your child doesn't make a high score in school grade,avoid saying things like "well next time you work harder and make it" instead say "you tried well and am really proud of the efforts you put into it ".Reward effort and completion instead of out-come.Sometimes a child's skill level is just not there,so helping children overcome disappointment can really help them learn what they are good at and what they are not so good at.So use warmth and humor to help your children learn about themselves and to appreciate what makes them unique.
❄Be a positive role model:If you are a parent who are excessively harsh on yourself,pessimistic and unrealistic about your abilities and limiting your children might eventually mirror you.Try and nurture your own self -esteem and they will have a great model.
❄Help your child to identify and redirect in accurate beliefs:It is important for parents to identify children's irritational beliefs about themselves,whether they are about perfection,attractiveness,ability or anything else.Help children set more accurate standards and be more realistic in evaluating themselves will help them have a healthy self concept.Inaccurate perceptions of self can take root and become reality to children for example a child who does very well in school but struggles with math may say "am not good in math,am a bad student ".Not only is this a false generalization,it's also a belief that can set a child up for failure.Encourage children to see situation in a more objective way.A helpful response might be "you are a good student,you do great in school.Math is a subject you need to spend more time on,we will work it together"
❄Give a positive and accurate feed back:Comments like "you always get jealous of your brother why? " the better statement is "i can see you were very angry with your brother?".This acknowledges a child's feelings.
❄Be spontenous and affectionate:The love you give to your child will boost your child's self-esteem.Give hugs and tell your children you are proud of them when you see them putting efforts towards something or trying something at which they previously failed.Try to put lovely note in your child's Lunch box.Give praise often and honestly but don't over do it.Having an inflated sense of self can lead children and teens to put others down or feel that they are better than anyone else which can be socially isolating.
❄Create a safe and loving home environment:Children don't feel safe or are abused at home have the greatest risk for developing poor self-esteem.A child who is exposed to parents who fight and argue all the time may feel they have no control over their environment and this may make become helpless or depressed.Also watch for signs of abuse by others,problems in school,trouble with peers and other factors that may affect children's self-esteem.Encourage your children to talk to you or other trusted adults about solving problems that are too big to solve by themselves.
❄Help your children become involved in constructive experiences:Activities that encourage cooperation rather than competition are especially helpful in fostering self-esteem for example monitoring programs in which an older child helps a younger one learn to read can do wonders for both children.Voluteering and contributing to your local community can have a positive effects on self-esteem for everyone involved.
❄Finding professional help:If you as a parent suspects your child has a low self-esteem,consider getting professional help.Child and adolescent therapists and councellors can help identify coping strategies to help deal with problem at school or home in ways that help children feel better about themselves.Therapy can help children to view themselves and the world more realistically and help with problem solving.Developing the confidence to understand when you can deal with a problem and when to ask for help is vital to positive self-esteem.Taking responsibility and pride in who you are is a sure sign of healthy self -esteem and the greatest gift parents can give to their child.