Marriage is a constitution where by a man and a woman come together to establish or live together.We have three major step to marriage.
☀Friendship:This is like a foundation class to help you know who you're planning to marry,that is where the bulk of the job is done;the finding,the keeping,the observing,the connecting,the understanding each other's differences, appreciating each other's similarities,the seeking God's Will,etc,here is where all those foundations are built.It's the place that determines how the rest of the other stages go.We need no so much explanation,am sure you already know how significant it is to marry your friend because both of you have already known each other.And no matter how tempted you are to take the friendship to the next level,always remember this; "if you stay friends long enough you can avoid a heartbreak,and if you make your relationship good enough you can avoid a divorce" in marriage.
☀Relationship:This is just friendship that went to secondary stage,that's how simply one can explain it. It's an advance version of friendship,this is a stage where friendship is properly defined,with marriage goals clearly stated.Most people skip this stage and go straight into courtship,they meet up,become friends,and then propose after a few months.It's okay,having a relationship before marriage is not compulsory,as all the "knowing,keeping and seeking" is supposed to be done at the first primary stage level - friendship.
☀Courtship:This is just a relationship that is more versed in relationship.This is where intimate questions about compatibility and other capacity issues are asked and answered.Talking about a stage where Medical Tests,health reports, family acceptance, etc are sorted.Of course you know that If it is a God-willed relationship all these won't be a problem, because God does not cause two to walk together if He cannot see an agreement.Then gradually to your wedding day which is lifetime marriage.Courtship is not the time to "know" anything about your intending spouse,you have friendship and relationship to find your conviction about the person you're interested in,and this is where a lot of us miss it.Most people are impatient,we always want it to happen quickly,from one "hello" last week to "come and visit me",from accepting their friend request last month to travelling down to see them,from one "i love you" to a million "weather for two".people are always in a hurry to get out of this friendship stage,they just love everything that comes with "in a relationship". Courtship is just the exam you write for the lessons you were taught during the stage of friendship,so focus on building the foundations that will carry you.
WHAT YOU SHOULD DISCUSS TOGETHER WITH YOUR DURING COURTSHIP.
It is very unfortunate that some people don't prepare for marriage,they only prepare for wedding.It is also very unfortunate that people waste time having sex during courtship instead of using the time to discuss important life issues that will help them in marriage. Courtship and dating is the period of
discussion and agreement before Marriage.During courtship,you should discuss together with your partner and agree on the following :
☀Discuss and agree on the number
of children you will like to have in
☀Discuss and agree on which Church
you will be attending together when
you get married.Is it the husband's
church,or the wife's church? Agree
on this before marriage.
☀Discuss and agree before marriage
if you want your siblings or a family
member to come and live with you
and your spouse in your matrimonial
☀ Discuss about how finances will be
handled and how bills will be paid,who is to pay which bill,will there be a joint account,etc.
☀Discuss and tell each other your
likes and dislikes,your temperaments,etc.
☀Discuss and agree on whether the
wife will be a full time housewife or not.
☀Do you need a housemaid or not? Will it be a male house help or not? These are just some of the the things that must be discussed before wedding so that they won't bring quarrels in marriage. Communication during courtship is just the best and it is main reason for courtship before marriage.