Fun filled laughter on funny vibes.

A black guy was travelling on a plane.. beside him was a white lady sitting with her monkey.The black guy later went to the toilet and on his way back to his seat, he saw that his plastic bag,full of bananas was empty.He asked the lady "Where are my bananas?" She replied:"Your brother ate them all."
Later,the lady also went to the toilet.On her way back,she realises that her monkey is dead.She turned and asked the guy in fury: "Who killed my monkey?".The guy answered.This is a family matter,it doesn't concern you.
-------------------------------------------------------------------

Researchers from university of Oxford discovered that a woman can speak 8000 words a day while a man speak 2000 words a day.So if you see your wife start shouting at you,please don't raise your hand on her,don't shout back,and don't talk back either,just keep quiet for she's aiming to reach her daily word target.

------------------------------------------------------------------
Wen u pay ur school fees (N450,000) through a mobile app, and in d next 2 minutes Airtel or M.T.N send u a message saying "u have successfully subscribed for 8years 129,000GB wit d sum of 450,000.Thank you for choosing Airtel.The witches in ur village will just whisper..."is awa work.

------------------------------------------------------------
🤣🤣A woman and a man were involved in car accident.It was a  bad one,caused by the woman's reckless driving.Both of their cars were badly damaged but amazingly neither of them was hurt.

After they crawled out of cars,the woman says;

“So, you're a man.That's interesting.I'm a woman.

Wow,just look at our cars.There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt.

This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."

The man replied," I agree with you completely.This must be a sign from God.

The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle.

My car is completely damaged,but this bottle of wine didn't break.

Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."

Then she handed the bottle over to the man.The man nodded his head in agreement,opens it,drinks half the bottle and then handed it back to the woman.

The woman takes the bottle,immediately puts the cap back on, and handed it back to the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

She replies, "Nah.I think i will just wait for the police to come and collect their evidence."(drunk driver's offence)

Adam ate the apple again.

Men will never learn .

Women will Never change!!!

------------------------------------------------------------------
Armed robber: your money or your life?

Abu: I don't have money and I have given my life to Christ.

Armed robber: you are mad so what can I take from you?

Abu: you can take away my sins.
-------------------------------------------------------------------

GRANDFATHER:When I was your age,I used to go to the supermarket with $1= and bring home soap,rice, 
milk,bread,wash powder etc.

GRANDSON: Nowadays it is difficult sir....There are CCTV cameras everywhere.

-------------------------------------------------------------------
I caught a pastor drinking star in a bar and I shouted man of God ” you supposed to be drinking malt,fanta or coke and not star.He replied to me,where was malt, fanta and coke when star was leading the 3 wise men to see Jesus ? I Fainted.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
An old woman had a daughter who lived Abroad but she couldn't afford a 3 square meal a day.One day,i visited the old woman and asked her,madam why are you struggling to eat when you have a child working Abroad? The old woman replied,don’t mind that girl,upon all the money I spent on her,she only sends me lots of photographs of an old white man.I don't know if she wants to marry the old man.

I then asked:Please,can I see the photos? The woman brought them out and they were Bundles of 100 dollars. Should I tell her the truth?
-------------------------------------------------------------------🤣                                                                           
1). When they loot money, they keep it in Switzerland.                   

2). When sick,they go to India.                                                                

3). When investing,they go to America.                                                           
4). When buying Mansions,they visit London.                                                     

5).When shopping they go to Dubai.                                                            

6).When on holidays,they visit Paris or Bahamas.                                                             
7).When educating their children,they sellect Europe.                                                             

8).When praying,they go to Saudi Arabia or Jerusalem.                                                      

9).But when they die,they all want to be buried in Please,help me ask them,Nigeria na cemetery?                           🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣